mousehands : ask philip

showing question #78

question from Andrew Wilkinson

Is it better to conceal a dead body under a pile of mashed potato in my back garden or should hide it in a suit of armour at my local museum?

How big a pile of potato? Without these small yet vital nuggetts of information, it is impossible to come up with an accurate and well proportioned suggestion.

If there’s enough mash to cover the body completely, then I’d go for that. It’s well known in criminal circles that the rozzers will fail to look into the crushed starch, and any goo or stench which may emanate from the decomposing cadaver will be fully conceiled.

A suit of armour, on the other hand, is mostly made out of transparent papier-mache and amplifes the odour with its odour amplification properties.

This question was asked on 10 November 2001 and answered at an unknown time.