mousehands : ask philip

showing question #76

question from Nicky Cary

When entering a sausage factory, why do i feel my guide dog is at risk. it has already lost two legs a tail and an eye on my regular trips to the walls sausage factory. please help !!

Your dog’s been working as an understudy for Eddie Izzard, hasn’t it? For this reason perhaps only, you should leave him be. It’s a well known fact around spa towns that comedy transvestite + food production plant + canine standby = limb loss for all concerned.

You do seem concerned about your mutt’s well-being, so I’d be wary of getting a head chopped off by a wayward lawnmower.

This question was asked on 2 October 2001 and answered at an unknown time.