showing question #75
question from ‘Two Spoons’ Dixon
Dear Philip my hair has fallen from my head and my eyes replaced by balls of lead, i’m not quite sure why i’m not dead? discuss!
Many people over the age of reason have uttered the phrase “you are what you eat”. This has some truth, but the eyes follow a different code of wisdom.
Your eyes are what you smell.
Every time you sleep, your eyes are reformed from the scents around you during the previous day. This is one reason I avoid being around yoghurt, as one day my face was covered in melting spores. Far better to have lead, which not only smells wonderfully akin to almonds, but it stops the damn things dropping down your cheeks during audiences with monarchies.
As for your hair, it’s most likely being pushed out by the clockwork models of Ant and Dec. Some pot pourri should help you out there.