mousehands : ask philip

showing question #324

question from Jade Goody

Ola Senor! My cattle, she have bad sores on her underbelly why everyone look though? Can you do a help in me? The children of Israel direct our thoughts. I can have protection from sun please, she crispy up Maria’s totem till she make cry in nightime!!
I dont like asian people.

This quote was taken well out of contekst I never said shit or whatever! You being a sort of internet max clifford, is there Japs chance in heaven you could shape my public image more better or has a hysterical media Gorgon really eaten the face off my non-career? Chinky shit.

With the obscene length of time it’s taken to answer this question, it’s now less of a mental challenge than perhaps it once would have been. The clear answer, dearest Jade, is no. You’ve been cast down into the bargain bin of popular culture, along with Les Dennis and Mark Thatcher. My powers, vast as they so obviously (even to the likes of you) are, are no match for the gargantuan pit you dug for yourself with little or no help from any poppadom-munching/Gere-snogging actress types.

It should also be noted that my hair is considerably less grey than Clifford’s.

PS. Chinese people (especially female ones) should go back to Vietnam.

This question was asked on 27 January 2007 and answered 1 year later on 21 February 2008.