showing question #194
question from big shirtless col
I’ve been thinking, which of these scenes from my life would you sugest as being worth recording and used as my ringtone?
Me at beach, looking at a pensioner
Shouting through a heavy scarf?
Swallowing a bobble hat?
Shelled boiled egg in Tupperware.
Fridge on dump
Tyre round lamp post in gale.
Small dog with head in bucket
Trilby in lake
Sock behind dresser
Chelsea boot in dog muck
Cowboy on stair lift, laughing at a sea horse
Nazi up chimney
Vicar chastising a pensioner for exuberant hymning
Miner with a lisp asking for some corn.
Ghandi on a treadmill wearing one platform boot and one slightly worn espadrille with corn flakes glued to the sole
A cat in a bomber jacket watching the snooker.
a maharajah majestically soldering benkas to a B52
a sheriff being sick in a vw polo
All the kings’ horses and all the kings men trying to get into Bentley’s with only one ticket.
The seven seas of rye
Deputy dog playing billiards with a threadworm…. in the late afternoon twilight (for atmosphere)
A train ticket to Manchester with the corner chewed off.
The bishop of Stortford with a cat on his lap watching the racing.
A London bus conductor doing the river dance on a sea of Japanese tourist’s cufflinks
16 men on a dead mans chest
Garry Moore ticking the no publicity box on his pools coupon
Brian ferry thinking about buying some pears
The click of an old ladies elbow as she wings for a home run
Leo sayer’s ladder falling onto Fonzy’s leather jacket
Keron dyer say no to a catalogue sales woman
Those magnificent men in their flying machines.
99 red balloons
Good ole’ boys never meaning no harm
Whiskey in the jar
Colin Welland kicking the hell out of an ape
A lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold
A bustle in the hedgerow
Time healing all ills
Fortune favouring the wise
The soft caress of a woman as she wipes her dying fathers arse
Half a pound of tupenny rice
Tiddly om pom pom
The popping of a weasel
A bird in your hand doing it on your wrist
Night time over an out door cludgy in Spain
My green hat
A tiny mouse reading its stars…. same again
Paul Daniels liking it, but not a lot
D’Arcy bustle dancing the fandango over Mr Punch in the bath
That bloke off brush strokes being sued for fraud
Willis talking ’bout stuff
A camp man shouting at a bush
Sid James laughing at a kestrel’s diary
A black mans skirt being lifted in fright
The laughter as peter bowls gets into yet more hospital based scrapes.
Laughing only when it hurts
The boat coming in
Fishy falling off dishy
Bobby Moore nicking Anna fords apple
An elephant writing to the local ombudsman about corn being uncut and a danger to pachyderms eyes.
My left foot
Everybody dancing….. NOW
The UN deciding on which biscuit to have and Uganda shouting for pink wafers….. AGAIN
Kofi Annan stashing his bourbons
The cast of friends ignoring the Nike adverts and not “doing it”.
Dame Edna everidge painting Aristotle onassis’ bike:
Many a mickel making a muckle
A dog making a bolt for an open door. They are good at metal work
Shylock taking a pound of flesh back to the shop to swap for a chuckle brothers DVD
Time, waiting for that special man.
A dentist with a haversack trying to get the straps just right
Gloria Gaynor’s boyfriend just going.
Strange ways prison being ordinary
The Kubla Khan phoning to complain about a moody lintel in his new pleasure dome.
The London eye being lazy.
Me at beach, looking at a pensioner
Shouting through a heavy scarf?
Swallowing a bobble hat?
Shelled boiled egg in Tupperware.
Fridge on dump
Tyre round lamp post in gale.
Small dog with head in bucket
Trilby in lake
Sock behind dresser
Chelsea boot in dog muck
Cowboy on stair lift, laughing at a sea horse
Nazi up chimney
Vicar chastising a pensioner for exuberant hymning
Miner with a lisp asking for some corn.
Ghandi on a treadmill wearing one platform boot and one slightly worn espadrille with corn flakes glued to the sole
A cat in a bomber jacket watching the snooker.
a maharajah majestically soldering benkas to a B52
a sheriff being sick in a vw polo
All the kings’ horses and all the kings men trying to get into Bentley’s with only one ticket.
The seven seas of rye
Deputy dog playing billiards with a threadworm…. in the late afternoon twilight (for atmosphere)
A train ticket to Manchester with the corner chewed off.
The bishop of Stortford with a cat on his lap watching the racing.
A London bus conductor doing the river dance on a sea of Japanese tourist’s cufflinks
16 men on a dead mans chest
Garry Moore ticking the no publicity box on his pools coupon
Brian ferry thinking about buying some pears
The click of an old ladies elbow as she wings for a home run
Leo sayer’s ladder falling onto Fonzy’s leather jacket
Keron dyer say no to a catalogue sales woman
Those magnificent men in their flying machines.
99 red balloons
Good ole’ boys never meaning no harm
Whiskey in the jar
Colin Welland kicking the hell out of an ape
A lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold
A bustle in the hedgerow
Time healing all ills
Fortune favouring the wise
The soft caress of a woman as she wipes her dying fathers arse
Half a pound of tupenny rice
Tiddly om pom pom
The popping of a weasel
A bird in your hand doing it on your wrist
Night time over an out door cludgy in Spain
My green hat
A tiny mouse reading its stars…. same again
Paul Daniels liking it, but not a lot
D’Arcy bustle dancing the fandango over Mr Punch in the bath
That bloke off brush strokes being sued for fraud
Willis talking ’bout stuff
A camp man shouting at a bush
Sid James laughing at a kestrel’s diary
A black mans skirt being lifted in fright
The laughter as peter bowls gets into yet more hospital based scrapes.
Laughing only when it hurts
The boat coming in
Fishy falling off dishy
Bobby Moore nicking Anna fords apple
An elephant writing to the local ombudsman about corn being uncut and a danger to pachyderms eyes.
My left foot
Everybody dancing….. NOW
The UN deciding on which biscuit to have and Uganda shouting for pink wafers….. AGAIN
Kofi Annan stashing his bourbons
The cast of friends ignoring the Nike adverts and not “doing it”.
Dame Edna everidge painting Aristotle onassis’ bike:
Many a mickel making a muckle
A dog making a bolt for an open door. They are good at metal work
Shylock taking a pound of flesh back to the shop to swap for a chuckle brothers DVD
Time, waiting for that special man.
A dentist with a haversack trying to get the straps just right
Gloria Gaynor’s boyfriend just going.
Strange ways prison being ordinary
The Kubla Khan phoning to complain about a moody lintel in his new pleasure dome.
The London eye being lazy.
My top five, in descending order of aural beauty:
- 16 men on a dead mans chest
- Cowboy on stair lift, laughing at a sea horse
- A camp man shouting at a bush
- Strange ways prison being ordinary
- Me at beach, looking at a pensioner
On a personal note, I look forward to your inevitable autobiography. Because we certainly wouldn’t want a manual one.