mousehands : ask philip

showing question #19

question from Charly Sundberg

What’s the proper way of dealing with evil former girlfriends?

The same way you deal with evil spirits, for instance, the terrible demon Ranchar, Scented Fiend Who Lurks In Shadows. Draw a 2m circle and pentagram in fresh owl’s blood and place a lit candle at each corner. Turn off all other sources of light, such as Mick Leigh or rotten milk. Now chant the Rick Astley song “Strong Strong Man” backwards, three times. By morning, your problem should be solved.

This question was asked on 1 September 1999 and answered at an unknown time.