mousehands : ask philip

showing question #173

question from stacy

have you, perchance, any idea how to get a small chipmunk out of your apartment?

Got a rodent problem? Need a small, fluffy creature out of your lounge, bathroom or pantry?

You need the new rodent-a-go-go! Our patent-pending technology allows you, the scurrying-animal hater to rid your abode of that which you despise the most!

Free yourself of house mice, dormice, chipmunks, porcupines and chinchillas in a flash! The specially designed rotating blades* installed in your floor slice, dice and cube the furry home-invaders until there’s nothing left.

But what about the aftermath? Surely, there’ll be bloody intestinal detritus to mop up in the morn.

Fear not! Rodent-a-go-go:Plus includes a special disinfectant fluid** that will wash away any evidence of infestation. But that’s not all: we’ll throw in enough of the highly-acidic juice to clean up after over 250 kills.

Be free of hamsters, gophers, beavers and prairie dogs forever. Live the rat-free dream, and live it on your own terms.

Bang! And the mouse is gone.

* May also kill babies.
** May also drown house-pets.

The question was asked sometime and answered on 20 October 2005.