mousehands : ask philip

showing question #169

question from Mrs Mittens

A few weeks ago in an episode of Diagnosis Murder, when Dick Van Dyke was summing up at the end - the murderer said ‘Look, this is not a drawing room and you are not Jessica Fletcher’. I am appalled that this woman’s name was mentioned in a tv show of such quality (and her name mentioned in front of Dick Van Dyke) no less. That said, my question is, can you think of a band that is more earnest than Tears for Fears. I keep seeing their horrible earnest little faces in memories I have of their videos and cant remember seeing more earnest expressions elsewhere in the ‘pop’ world.

The Fletch (not to be confused with Fletch) does get around. From Maine to California to Hawaii, she invades the territory of not only the good doctor and son but also the moustachioed, Ferrari-driving, shirt wearing private investigator Magnum (PI). But ask yourself, does this go far enough?

Of course it doesn’t.

Here, accept these other evil-doer-seeker-outers that I would like to see combine their powers with Jess (as she is affectionately known to me):

Quincy
Picture the scene: Gruff, curmudgeonly pathologist Quincy ME visits Cabot Cove only to discover that the dim-witted sheriff is dealing ecstasy to the octogenarians in an attempt to boost sales in his nephew’s glow stick and dummy factory. Before long, the old folk are dying wrinkly, dry-skinned, loved-up deaths and Quince is on the case. Inquiries inquire into the spate of mature expirations, until Ms Fletcher bounds onto the scene with theories of wills, greed, jealousy and revenge.

Who is correct? Can Quincy and Jessica get to the root of the dastardly deeds in the Cove?

Find out next week!

Bergerac
Lansbury. Nettles. On-screen dynamite.

Surely a combination made in celluloid heaven, few can deny the raw sexual magnetism between two of TV’s most powerful performers of their generation. Suave, but damaged detective Jim and the soft focussed beauty of Jess on screen at last. In this tale of passion and murder, aged writer Fletcher, J takes a trip to the sleepy isle of Jersey to avenge the murder of her adopted son, Juan. The local constabulary assign booze-loving hard-nut Bergerac to oversee her case, who is naturally hesitant to help this outsider. He has duties, after all.

Will Juan see justice? Will Jessica and Jim fall hopelessly in love and adopt a whole new child?

Tune in to see the greatest story never told!

Tears for Fears manage to give the impression of earnestness, but how genuine this is remains lost to the ages. Modern earnest types fail to achieve this perfect veneer and end up giving the impression of smugness. U2, Coldplay and Paul McCartney all fall into this self-satisfaction trap and oh my, the bile.

This question was asked on 22 September 2005 and answered 2 weeks and 6 days later on 13 October 2005.