mousehands : ask philip

showing question #162

question from Andy

Well, if what you’re saying is true, and you’re so smartly that you can build a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier from old cans of Alphabet Soup and discarded Mars Bar wrappers, how come you can’t fix that hole in the fence where the leprechauns keep sneaking in to steal your purple, eh?

Can’t?! Can’t!?

Hush your mouth, sir. I could, if I so chose do to so, put a halt to those pesky Irish swines and their colour-thievery. Did it not occur to you that the hue-loss could be part of a greater scheme involving not only the leprechauns, but also Bono’s over-inflated ego?

As your friendly local smack retailer knows, purple is something which has even the strongest-willed man (and, increasingly, woman) a blubbering wreck if they’ve tasted that most immaculate of shades once, but not again for several days.

Without them knowing, the elfenfolk are acting as my agents of colour-dispersal: a rag-tag bunch of ignorant disciples of pigmentation; foolhardy dispensers of tint; some may even say unwitting brethren of iridescence.

Patience, being virtuous, is recommended for you at this juncture.

This question was asked on 16 July 2005 and answered 3 weeks and 2 days later on 9 August 2005.