mousehands : ask philip

I am Philip, lord of all gubbins!

Would it help you if my last name was Olivier?
Would it help you if my last name was Schofield?
Would it help you if my last name was Prince?

Wait, that last one doesn’t quite work.

But if you think about it a little, aren’t we all Philip Olivier, deep down inside? Try this for me, Joe*: Turn off your computer, turn off all the lights (or if it’s daytime, crawl under your quilt or a heavy blanket) and really focus your mind on what it means to be a foppish, shirtless, inane faux-reality-programme-appearing minor celebrity. Soon, you will reach the core of all Oliviers everywhere and your mind will known suffering.

* In fact, I would like every gubbins experience reader to do the same. Maybe our combined efforts could shift the Earth’s orbit and make the year a couple of days shorter so we can do without “be kind to squirrels day” and Julia Roberts.