questions 201 to 209
question from Kami
How old am i
You are the age of the youngest idea, as old as the noblest tear, and slightly younger than Jim Davidson’s regret.
question from Nici Sterling
Have you ever considered moving to Stockholm?
All the best places to live have a syndrome.
Given this, it’s China or Stockholm. Though I prefer Chinese food over gravlax and would be near to an international motor racing track, I’m less than impressed with their human rights record and would have to pick lovely Sweden.
Given this, it’s China or Stockholm. Though I prefer Chinese food over gravlax and would be near to an international motor racing track, I’m less than impressed with their human rights record and would have to pick lovely Sweden.
question from Some Guy Asking Philip A Question
Compared to what?
Compared to, but limited by or with:
Sandra Bullock eating a pastie outside the jobcentre.
A pile of pre-tasted grapes.
The noise a student makes when realising the media is barely worth studying.
Several dead pixels.
Ant and/or Dec.
Stu-stu-stu-studio line.
Romantic bread, baked with love.
The exact dimensions of Andrew Neil’s face.
Sandra Bullock eating a pastie outside the jobcentre.
A pile of pre-tasted grapes.
The noise a student makes when realising the media is barely worth studying.
Several dead pixels.
Ant and/or Dec.
Stu-stu-stu-studio line.
Romantic bread, baked with love.
The exact dimensions of Andrew Neil’s face.
question from Some anonymous bloke
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A more relevant question is, how much ground could a groundhog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground?
question from Donnie
So…just how long does it take Mr Ligs to answer a question? ;) Just teasin’ ya Philip :)
3,164 days.
This is one of the lost questions, from the days of the first Ask Philip incarnation when all was done with an email form and statically making the pages, found only when I was updating the question ask dates from the original emails.
Not unlike when the Royal Mail find a letter from 1872, I hope you are impressed and sickened that it could happen in the first place.
This is one of the lost questions, from the days of the first Ask Philip incarnation when all was done with an email form and statically making the pages, found only when I was updating the question ask dates from the original emails.
Not unlike when the Royal Mail find a letter from 1872, I hope you are impressed and sickened that it could happen in the first place.
question from Festiniog
What is the answer if 42 is the question?
The answer is “eggnog found in Belgian chalet under threat of cancellation due to seepage”.
question from Darlene
What time will my husband finish washing the station?
Your husband had better keep washing until the station is clean, or you won’t be seeing him at all!
Please don’t complain, you did sell him to my sanitation conglomerate for the princely price of a packet of chips and a can of dandelion and burdock.
Please don’t complain, you did sell him to my sanitation conglomerate for the princely price of a packet of chips and a can of dandelion and burdock.
question from Ruby Powr’fulltel’escope
Can Simon Amstell carry Buzzcocks with Lammar’s Disembodied arseholishness slowly cranking up the nasty in his curly gay-head?
Also, How many men died in 1986?
Also, How many men died in 1986?
Your first question is only of interest to seven people, other than you. These people are all Heat staff writers, layout artists or the mentally ill. For all your sakes, sever your ties (bow, neck, cravat, silk square: it matters not) with all comedy panel shows. They are eating away at your soul and you will be destroyed.
Ah, 1986. The time of wide shoulders, mobile phones the size of a small fridge and pastels for everyone. It’s a fact, hidden by the Illuminati, that no men died in 1986. However, every woman did. If you ever meet a lady claiming to be over the age of 22, treat them with contempt and suspicion.
Ah, 1986. The time of wide shoulders, mobile phones the size of a small fridge and pastels for everyone. It’s a fact, hidden by the Illuminati, that no men died in 1986. However, every woman did. If you ever meet a lady claiming to be over the age of 22, treat them with contempt and suspicion.
question from Jade Goody
Ola Senor! My cattle, she have bad sores on her underbelly why everyone look though? Can you do a help in me? The children of Israel direct our thoughts. I can have protection from sun please, she crispy up Maria’s totem till she make cry in nightime!!
I dont like asian people.
This quote was taken well out of contekst I never said shit or whatever! You being a sort of internet max clifford, is there Japs chance in heaven you could shape my public image more better or has a hysterical media Gorgon really eaten the face off my non-career? Chinky shit.
I dont like asian people.
This quote was taken well out of contekst I never said shit or whatever! You being a sort of internet max clifford, is there Japs chance in heaven you could shape my public image more better or has a hysterical media Gorgon really eaten the face off my non-career? Chinky shit.
With the obscene length of time it’s taken to answer this question, it’s now less of a mental challenge than perhaps it once would have been. The clear answer, dearest Jade, is no. You’ve been cast down into the bargain bin of popular culture, along with Les Dennis and Mark Thatcher. My powers, vast as they so obviously (even to the likes of you) are, are no match for the gargantuan pit you dug for yourself with little or no help from any poppadom-munching/Gere-snogging actress types.
It should also be noted that my hair is considerably less grey than Clifford’s.
PS. Chinese people (especially female ones) should go back to Vietnam.
It should also be noted that my hair is considerably less grey than Clifford’s.
PS. Chinese people (especially female ones) should go back to Vietnam.