questions 111 to 120
question from big shirtless col
where’ your mam?
Me Mam go down the shop. Bap, she say. Butter, she say. Ham, she say. Me Mam make sandwich. Me Mam eat sandwich.
Me Mam start over again. Pastry, she say. Cherry, she say. Cream, she say. Me Mam make pie. Me Mam eat pie.
Me Mam start over again. Milk, she say. Flour, she say. Egg, she say. Me Mam make pancake. Me Mam eat pancake.
Me Mam start over again…
Me Mam start over again. Pastry, she say. Cherry, she say. Cream, she say. Me Mam make pie. Me Mam eat pie.
Me Mam start over again. Milk, she say. Flour, she say. Egg, she say. Me Mam make pancake. Me Mam eat pancake.
Me Mam start over again…
question from Rory
Why are there 11 most asked questions in Red Dwarfs 10 most asked questions?
This is a matter to take up with Geoffrey Rush. Who is, as I understand it, the only man on the planet to be able to count to 11.
question from Michaelis Bobobski
I like Intuition by Linx, but my friend says that The Fall’s cover version of Ghost in my house is better. Do you prefer Bingo Masters breakout?
I like all things that begin with break. Including, but not limited to: Breakbeat, breakdancing and breaking and entering. The answer is yes, I do like Breakout. I also like Arkanoid.
question from Elmer Fudd
can you talk to different varieties of cheese in the same language?
Cheeses, as we all know, are regional. Unlike wines - which are well travelled and have phrase books covering basic Spanish, French, German and Finnish - cheese rarely seek to appease the locals and shout in their native tongue, hoping against hope that they will be understood the louder they become. Red Leicester and Smoked Caerphilly are amongst the worst offenders. While on holiday in the Algarve, one cheese was overheard to say “Damn foreigners, where can I get a proper meal instead of this heathen muck?”
question from Craig
do you need mental help i ave a number for a good therapisyt???
Yes. I’m completely bonkers, you see. Do you have the number for an evil therapist as an alternative? One who stalks in the shadows, striking at night, healing people of transferance and clinical depression and then skulks off into the fog like Peter Sutcliffe. That would be fab, just fab.
question from Listerine Hamsterpoo
It is said that we are all gods creatures. Does this apply to Jamie Oliver? Or can I kill him? Also , can you smell gas?
Jamie Oliver, despite his big fat lips and uneducated ways, can cook up a storm. He’s responsible for super-typhoons, El Niño, October 1987 and really tasty pasta. I would suggest letting him live, lest someone more Machiavellian than he take over. I can. That’s my gas.
question from Lloyd Christmas
Marathon or Snickers?
Star Bar or Boost? Goddammit!
Star Bar or Boost? Goddammit!
The Star Bar is a separate entity from Boost, though its similarity to Coconut Boost can not be disputed. Some would suggest Star Bars are much more pleasant and less dry in texture. Really now, for a professor in this field, I expected more from you.
question from Neil Page
Barry Manilow once asked me “Could it be magic?”, I couldn’t answer him, can you?
Barry asked me the same question. However, in his song, he foolishly ignored my original answer which was “There’s no magic involved, really. It’s simply misdirection, slightly of hand and blasé trickery. Nicely done, but let’s stop with the mysticism, okay?” I hear the eventual number was an underground dance hit.
question from Del Griffith
Where did you get that? It’s lovely.
I’m not so sure. I used to like it, but akin to a child at Christmas, the joy was lost and now all I see is a partly broken, slightly smelly piece of rubbish, fit only for Barbara Winsor or the landfill.
If you want it, you can have it. I’d be happy to see the back of it. I weep for the lost times of joy and satisfaction it brought me.
If you want it, you can have it. I’d be happy to see the back of it. I weep for the lost times of joy and satisfaction it brought me.
question from James O Rafferty
The more oaty the buscuit the better for cheese. Dicuss
Cheese, like squid and barley, is one of the more versatile nipple byproducts. Behold all that cheese does for us in our daily lives; neither the space race nor the pizza would be possible without its dairy goodness.
The question of oatiness is covered most completely Pliny the Younger in his 97 A.D. work ‘Cereals and Gallic Waterfalls’. And what a seminal work that was. Perhaps the best translation was made by Orbital’s Paul Hartnol, a prolific but unsung translator of latin culinary works. Pliny wrote ‘When the crops be from the oats, one must remember the importance of texture, as oars are lacking in even the most basic of flavours. while my contemporaries may muse on the delights of the barbarian Bavarian Montagnolo, this Germanic specimen - though rich and blue - is perversion in such a context. The native Mozerella is far more suitable.’
So I would suggest that it is a matter of finding the right cheese for your biscuit. May your experiments find you happiness.
The question of oatiness is covered most completely Pliny the Younger in his 97 A.D. work ‘Cereals and Gallic Waterfalls’. And what a seminal work that was. Perhaps the best translation was made by Orbital’s Paul Hartnol, a prolific but unsung translator of latin culinary works. Pliny wrote ‘When the crops be from the oats, one must remember the importance of texture, as oars are lacking in even the most basic of flavours. while my contemporaries may muse on the delights of the barbarian Bavarian Montagnolo, this Germanic specimen - though rich and blue - is perversion in such a context. The native Mozerella is far more suitable.’
So I would suggest that it is a matter of finding the right cheese for your biscuit. May your experiments find you happiness.